Associations-Cultural

Cultural organization may be to some extant compared with voluntary associations. Cultural organizations may charge fees, but the nature of membership, participation etc. are more for voluntary self improvement through individual betterment and group relationship. Self development culturally that is, in some fields of the arts, music, vocal or instrumental, dancing, theatrical and stage performance, as well as debating, speech delivery and other areas.

Development is an individualistic as also collective concept. This has to be remembered in having the training in perfecting etiquette in such an organization. There would be co-trainers or co-students, as well as trainers or instructors. The attitude towards and behavior with such other persons in such a place, require not only tact and well-behaved demeanor, but also a well in the member to compete and cooperate in the best manner for mutual benefits.

It would therefore, be against the rules of etiquette to scheme and design or to cause nepotism or favoritism, in short all forms of in-house politics to creep in.

Associations-Voluntary Organizations:

These are organizations where people may come and work or assist in their spare time. People would like to do social work or welfare work to help unlucky children, women or persons hit by calamities like flood or accident, and so on.

Though voluntary in character, there is a code of conduct, a system of discipline and discretion for those who are rendering service and also those who are receiving the same. Though voluntary yet in all other methods of working, work and participation in those organizations are as formal and official as any other compulsory organization.

Persons manning such organizations are to maintain strict discipline and work rule. Timely arrivals or attending to duties are very important. Secondary while at work, one should take it up very seriously and should never lethargy, laziness or carelessness seep in. There may be sick persons to be attended to, poor children to be taught, widowed women to be trained in crafts, etc. and all those incumbents waiting to be served would go on waiting and would be at the mercy of the voluntary workers because these helpless persons are to receive free help and cannot complain.

Willful distortion:

The affected style of Etiquette springs willful distortion of words and actions, gestures and speeches. Some will put on a deeper voice, others a different intonation and accent, still others may like to keep their listeners enthralled and hence they would like as much time to narrate an incident as possible, only for the sake of effect. They little realize that people are not so gullible as to take him as a master speaker. Rather, they could be bored beyond measure and might avoid him in future in all pleasant discourses.

It falls under good Etiquette to give everybody a chance in conversation, to let the conversation shift from person to person, so that an atmosphere of participation, fellow feeling, of good relationship may persist. Normally, if a person has as superiority complex, he would want everybody to pay attention to him, so that he may occupy the center of the stage in the group.

The first and foremost rule of social Etiquette therefore, is to shed all forms of complexes, pertaining to superiority and inferiority. A balanced behavior is to be cultivated and achieved. Treat all men as equals, and your own attitude to life and people will undergo a change for the better, provided it requires any change.

Wrong style:

There is a mistaken belief that to be modern is to use the language or words that border on ‘slang’. Words like ‘sure’, OK, tinkle and the like are all right once in a while, but too much and repetitive use of these weave a weird pattern about the culture and personality of the person concerned. Through the word “Hello” may be used in social gatherings etc., a better substitute is ‘good evening ’ or even simply ‘evening’ while the word ‘Hai’ may be reserved for only close friends.

Peculiarities:

Etiquette refers to normal behavior which is acceptable and agreeable. A man of etiquette and manners will have control over his behavior and actions. This means that he will check his impulses, his peculiarities, his idiosyncrasies, and his unnatural behavior, if any. Some people would like to draw attention, create a sort of sensation by doing things or cultivating tastes which are out-of- the-way.

In the realm of etiquette such peculiarities have no place. In a group where everybody is enjoying tea or coffee, if you announce that you do not take such beverages the effect produced will be unsocial. It would be embarrassing for the host as well as for the guests who are going to sip from their cups.

Introvert

A person is introvert when he thinks more and talks less. Though talkativeness in a man disqualifies him from being a man of true manners, too much of silence in a group or with friends is also against manners. When you are meeting people socially, or when you are introduced to them, it is good etiquette to strike up an acquaintance through conversation. If you stay exceptionally quiet or keep silent in an obviously annoying manner, you would be acting against the social etiquette. You have to remember that while nobody would press you to be too expressive or boisterous in your manners, It is expected that you will play your part as a member of society, a society that would lend support to different individuals in its fold in times of their of their grief and needs.

There intellectuals, poets, writers, and big executives who think more and talk less. But social liaison and mixing are physical needs like food, drink and health-care which even the kinds and VIPs attend to. Hence, one has to perform one’s duty, play one’s part in social gatherings and dialogues.

Social conversation, as one would know, should be general like weather, travels, transportation, may be a little of politics, country’s security and so on. The conversation should not be dragged down to the level of business discussions or professional discourse.

Extrovert:

An extrovert is an ingrained attribute of a man’s nature. The attribute may be termed well by some and may not be liked by others. The extrovert likes to talk, about himself, about others about everything. He cannot stop; he has to give vent to his feelings, his thoughts and experiences, big or small. He may be different from a talkative person, because he sometimes stops and listens, and thus he creates a friend circle, but right or wrong he has to give every thought a verbal shape. A talkative person is avoided by others, while an extrovert may be liked by his friends because he calls the spade a spade and would be pointing out equally the good and bad in others. Also, an extrovert may also give out his own shortcomings just as he would point out the same in others. It is true, the characteristics of extrovert and introvert are inherent traits, and try as one would, one may not be able to turn and twist these traits much. However, it is imperative for the extrovert to exercise curbs on his speaking especially when he is speaking to or about another person. Through practice, the extrovert can train himself to utter words that would encourage others.

Distorted Etiquette-Show-off

Show off is a common fault in manners. People who are deficient or who lack confidence will try to pose himself in a different color than what he is. He may tail big, may talk of riches and achievements, can paint a rosy picture of himself and his future to others, and all this would be done to establish in the eye of others.

Showing off may take any form. One kind of persons would tell you about his pedigree, his family name and tradition, of the bygone days, of the wealth possessed and squandered to prove his status in society placed.

Loud thinking

These are persons who would not give their tongues any ruin, and would say whatever comes to their mind. Without holding back anything, they would criticize others, even their superiors at their work-place, among others. They little realize that in this subtle world of diplomacy and self-interest, such loud-thinking would veritably land them in trouble.

If you criticize others or speak ill of others openly, know for certain that bad words of yours will reach the criticized person’s ears somehow.

Artificiality-Avoidance

While it is difficult whose range of artificial behavior, it is possible to draw the line as to how artificiality can be avoided. The first lesion in etiquette is to acquire normal behavior. This normalcy in behavior is from one point, more difficult to have than acquirement of artificiality.

To behave normally also, some efforts and restraints are necessary. If we take the rural rustics, they are so simple and unpretending in their words and actions. They show their joys and sorrows, their approvals and disapprovals openly. These are very good for normalcy, but sometimes these rural people may lack the training which would transform their normal actions into mannerly acts. Their actions and reactions may be too quick and frequent, and these require some checks and guidance.

Normalcy

The object of normalcy is not to show your anger and joy unrestrainedly. Your normalcy should be within the preview of your feeling for the other. One should feel genuinely at others’ happenings. But this feeling has to be toned up with proper language and etiquette measures.

In civilized society people do not think of hurting others or doing damage to others at every turn of possibility of personal; insecurity or danger.